making time

"I gave way to delight, as mystics have for centuries when they peeked through the curtains and discovered that this world- so manifestly real was actually a tiny stage set constructed by the mind. We discover abruptly that everything we accept as reality is just social fabrications. - Timothy Leary, 1966

i'm so burnt out... with all the staging.
what am i going to do with all this time?

ten years
in ten years all the people i know will be married
except me

it surprising that everyone wants to get married
kind of a shocker really

it seems like there would be more people like me

how do you mentally prepare for a solitary life?
i don't do the god thing so monks, nuns, hermits can keep their meditations
this one life isn't the other.

something more interesting than sex...

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
- Aldous Huxley

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
- Ray Bradbury

well as it turns out i'm an idiot. ha.

seriously.

i'm getting out of my rut. and my rutting.

times too short for half-assed hunting.

i think my intern just asked me on a date.
i can't be certain without making a fool out of myself though.
he's nice. i actually want to go.

strange. i have to get out of my current relationship.
i love the guy but he give me as much help as a child.
i'm not a mother by choice.
i don't want to lose a friend
again
but this has got to stop.
i need to begin a real life.